In this fifteenth anniversary edition of Love Busters, Willard F. Harley, Jr., helps couples identify and overcome the most common habits that destroy the feeling of love.
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A Classic Resource from Dr. Harley--Now Revised and Repackaged to Highlight Six Changes in Habits That Will Save Your Marriage According to relationship expert and bestselling author Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., after couples get married, they often develop habits that slowly undermine the love they have for each other. If tolerated, these Love Busters--selfish demands, disrespectful judgments, angry outbursts, dishonesty, annoying habits, and independent behavior--will destroy a couple's love for each other. The solution, however, isn't merely to avoid these negative behaviors and attitudes. Rather, it's to cultivate Love Builders--positive habits that will strengthen the relationship. With Dr. Harley's expert guidance, couples will be able to avoid the major causes of marital unhappiness and disappointment. Instead of tearing their marriage apart, they will learn to build it into the marriage they had needed and wanted. This book is a perfect companion to His Needs, Her Needs and will be useful to pastors, counselors, and couples.
Bestselling author and marriage expert offers a practical guide to the tools and habits couples need to enjoy a passionate, life-long love together.
"Marriage counselor Harley has gathered together some of the most frequently asked questions and his best answers. He covers topics from marital infidelity and sexual problems to negotiating agreements, living together before marriage, and keeping love going."--Library Journal
You can learn the secret of compatibility in your marriage by following Dr. Harley's sound advice: "I want your marriage to become what it was meant to be: a safe and caring relationship that brings the best out of both of you."
Dr. Harley explores the illusions of marriage and the problems that develop when partners cannot live up to the idealistic expectations their spouses bring into the marriage. He contrasts those illusions with the realities of marriage and shows that marital compatability doesn't just happen--it must be created. Harley is the bestselling author of His Needs, Her Needs.
Love Busters is a companion book to 'His Needs, Her Needs', both of which draw on Harley's extensive marriage counselling research and experience. The book is very pragmatic and American, complete with step-by-step problem solvers, but nevertheless, it manages to assess complex human behaviour in a remarkably simple way. 'His Needs, Her Needs' introduced the metaphor of a 'love bank' that governs our feelings about all our relationships. We grow in love for those who make regular deposits by meeting a need that we have. We dislike those who regularly withdraw from their accounts with us. 'Love Busters' elaborates on those habits in a marriage that can make large and regular withdrawals from our partners' accounts, which lead ultimately to the tragedy of mutual hatred and eventual divorce. To the 'love bank' metaphor, it adds the concept of the 'giver' and the 'taker' that each of us possesses. The giver will work for the other's happiness even at its own expense, and a relationship works when both partners' givers are working well. When one's giver has been working hard, but without reciprocity, the taker is aroused to action. The 'taker' works for one's own happiness even at the expense of others, and will justify any bad behaviour to get what it wants. Takers destroy relationships, and to save relationships and make steps towards regaining marital bliss, one needs to consciously set the taker aside and negotiate ways of getting the givers working again. Harley's book is likely to convict anyone who has seen their own power to screw up relationships. It lands all kinds of necessary hammer blows to our selfishness, and shows (seemingly unknowingly) that the Biblical call to serve and to love one's enemies is actually genuine wisdom, and a recipe for greater happiness.
Deepen your love and strengthen your marriage by working through the steps outlined in this workbook.
"Five Steps to Romantic Love" helps couples know and meet each other's needs and overcome the habits that destroy love. A popular supplement to Dr. Harley's "His Needs, Her Needs "and "Love Busters," this workbook is now available in a convenient lay-flat binding.
Children add a unique strain on a couple's time and relationship, yet they desperately need parents who love each other. That's why, according to Dr. Willard Harley, one of the most important things parents can do for their kids is keep their marriage healthy. His Needs, Her Needs for Parents, now available in trade paper, helps them do just that. Following the pattern of the bestselling His Needs, Her Needs, this book guides both new and seasoned parents through the whys and hows of sustaining romance in a marriage. It also offers specific, practical steps on spending quality time as a couple, deciding on child-training methods, dividing domestic responsibilities, and even handling kids with ADHD and intrusive in-laws. His Needs, Her Needs for Parents helps couples maintain their love for each other and raise happy and successful children at the same time.