"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life: 1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships. 2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are. 3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament. 4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways. 5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.
how to be an adult in relationships
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"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships-- one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.4. Affection is shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts-- what Richo calls the five A's-- form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.
Using the metaphor of the heroic journey, the author shows readers the way to psychological and spiritual health.
As the lone young lady on a transatlantic voyage in 1832, Charlotte learns that the captain is murderous and the crew rebellious.
We were made to love and be loved. Loving ourselves and others is in our genetic code. It’s nothing other than the purpose of our lives—but knowing that doesn’t make it easy to do. We may find it a challenge to love ourselves. We may have a hard time letting love in from others. We’re often afraid of getting hurt. It is also sometimes scary for us to share love with those around us—and love that isn't shared leaves us feeling flat and unfulfilled. David Richo provides the tools here for learning how to love in evolved adult ways—beginning with getting past the barriers that keep us from loving ourselves, then showing how we can learn to open to love others. He provides wisdom from Buddhism, psychology, and a range of spiritual traditions, along with a wealth of practices both for avoiding the pitfalls that can occur in love relationships and for enhancing the way love shows up in our lives. He then leads us on to love’s inevitable outcome: developing a heart that loves universally and indiscriminately. This transcendent and unconditional love isn’t just for a heroic few, Dave shows, it’s everyone’s magnificent calling.
“So far lawyers are the only ones getting any money.” “There’s no middle ground. We only talk through lawyers.” “I open my mouth and we end up screaming at each other.” Sound familiar? What if there was a way to divorce with a minimum of hostility, time, and expense? It is attainable, even if you are working towards these goals without the cooperation of your spouse. The Yoga of Divorce advocates that we shift our reactions and embrace the notion of cooperative opposition, the idea that the same non-adversarial process that works on the yoga mat can be used at the negotiation table. The key to The Yoga of Divorce’s strategy is to 'park ego at the door'. If we stop trying to 'win' but instead seek a solution that is fair to both sides, we make much smoother progress. The mindful practice of cooperative opposition can simultaneously resolve physical stress and social conflict by intentionally balancing opposite forces. It might seem simple, but it takes conscious effort. We urgently need to make calm decisions at those times when being calm is most difficult—such as in the midst of emotional crisis. When stakes are highest we feel most triggered to attack. For the sake of our children, our wealth, and our personal well-being, we need to work past negative emotions and put ego in its place. Only then will we find lasting peace and amicable resolutions.
Psychotherapist David Richo offers a fresh and inspiring approach to personal growth: we can use the process of writing and reading poetry to move toward greater self-understanding and emotional healing. Even if you’ve never written a poem before, you can learn to use poetry to explore your feelings, your relationships, your childhood, your dreams, and more. Richo explains how the creative, intuitive process of making poetry can help us gain access to our deepest truths, leading us to make connections and explore experiences in a new way, beyond the constraints of everyday language. This book offers a range of practical exercises for getting started, as well as guidance on how to read poetry in a way that can be personally transformative. Being True to Life shows us that poetry is not reserved for a few specially talented individuals but is a deeply human activity that anyone can tap into for greater clarity and insight into life’s struggles, beauty, and mysteries.
Explores the human ability to trust, and argues that people must develop trust in four directions, including toward themselves, toward others, toward life as it is, and toward a higher power or spiritual path in order to maintain healthy relationships and experience emotional well-being.
The unfortunate popular perception is that when someone is diagnosed with Alzheimer's or dementia, they are immediately lost to themselves, to those who love them and to those they love. In I'M STILL HERE, John Zeisel shows how you can connect with someone through the fog of dementia and build a relationship with the person within. This groundbreaking book focuses on connecting with Alzheimer's sufferers through the abilities that don't diminish over the course of the disease, such as understanding music, art, facial expressions and touch. By harnessing these capacities, and by using other approaches to treatment, this book demonstrates how it is possible to offer sufferers a quality of life with a connection to others and to the world around them.
'The Empowerment Process' is a user-friendly manual that is designed for those who wish to integrate and center social ministry into the ongoing life of their local Christian community.